The beautiful mess: Honoring our place in the cycle of growth
All of the petals are falling off and leaving a beautiful mess on the ground.
It is an accurate reflection for how I feel today….like the petals are coming off and what was once on display is now falling apart and covering the ground with its former beauty.
Yet . . . it’s still beautiful. Just in a different way.
The petals on the ground have a sadness to them…a grief. What was formerly budding, blossoming, and in full bloom is now falling apart at my feet.
If we leave the petals on the ground, we allow nature to compost them. Inevitably, they will be transformed into fertile soil. Flower petals are moist, nitrogen rich food for compost that have a fine texture and break down quickly. We can also share the love of these fallen petals by adding them in layers to a compost bin or spreading them around other plants.
I lovingly spread some of ours around a “bubba bush” (Carolina Allspice) I’ve been trying to grow from a small transplant I received as a gift from my dad. Growing up, we had a bubba bush growing right beside our carport. The dark red, tough blooms turn their scent on and off at different times of day. Because our sense of smell is strongly tied to our memory network, I have a soothing nostalgic feeling that sweeps over me when I smell its strawberry scent.
What feeds and nourishes me is the metaphor of it all. The cycle of transformation and the beauty we can witness in each stage of it. The energy it takes to form the bud, the blossom, the full bloom in all its glory and wonder. . . and then the fallen petals. What remains on the stem will create seed for the next cycle.
I’m low to the ground today. It feels like my petals have fallen. I’m not entirely sure why, to be honest. But if I reflect back on the past few months, there was a lot of energy I expended on a new creative project – my new website was a part of it – and a book proposal I’d been working on simultaneously for something I hope to one day birth into the world. What I’m finding is that there are cycles of transformation within this one creative project that needs to be birthed. Turns out, it isn’t just one big ramp up and explosion of color and creativity. . .
It has layers of transformation within it: I’m being challenged to tend to each one as it evolves and reveals itself.
This is how the cycle of healing goes, too. It would be nice if there were one big “finale” and we were finished with all of our healing and growth after a long ramp up and lots of disciplined, therapeutic work. But in my experience, that is rarely the case.
Sure, we make progress as we grow, expand, and shed layers of our past. But then our petals fall to the ground and are composted. They become fodder for the next cycle of transformation begging us to emerge as a new bloom once again. We recommit to the cycle and do our due diligence to see it through.
I wonder where you are in this cycle?
What aspect of growth and transformation are you resonating with right now?
How might you fully embrace it as a metaphor for your life?
Is there an action you could take to honor your place in the cycle?
Last night, I cut several big, beautiful blossoms from our peony bushes and placed them in a vase on the kitchen table. I wanted to honor the bold, enthusiastic blooms. By morning, I woke up to find that the petals had already begun falling in a mess below. But it’s not an annoying mess. It is a beautiful mess. It connects me to the place where I presently find myself in this cycle of transformation. I can feel the pang of grief and also appreciate the beauty that led me here.
I can rest, reflect, and restore. . . gathering the compost I need to fully commit to the next cycle of growth.
